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A Broken Hallelujah

Alrighty then.  For the past week and a half I have been in a really deep depression.  I have been online, I haven't been communicating with anyone , save for bas_math_girl, and another friend from Twitter, both of whom I am intensely grateful for.  Especially bas_math_girl who allowed me to email her when I'd made it through a day successfully.  Thank you for that.  *hugs*

As I've stated before, there's nothing new muse wise.  I'm hoping that will change soon.  I do have a couple ideas, not sure if they'll amount to anything yet.  This I am posting tonight is something I have had on my hard drive for months.  It's a continuation of the Belle series and you'll most likely want to re-read part 3 of The TARDIS Intervenes to see where that left off and so the beginning of this one makes sense.   It is also not finished, and probably not going to be finished. The muse for the Belle series and well and truly dried up.

For this, we are all going to believe that Wilf and Ten spoke on the Vinvocci ship waaaayyy more than they actually did during The End of Time.  And we're going to assume Wilf would make a speech of sorts like this.  It's kind of been what I've thought Wilf would think if he'd been told about Rose and her actions.

As always, I don't own Ten, Donna, Jack, Ianto, Martha, Mickey, Ten II, Gwen, Wilf, Sylvia, Torchwood, or Doctor Who.  The BBC does.  Please read and enjoy...

Jack came back to life with his usual gasping heave.  He lurched upright, and pushed the Doctor’s hands away.  The Doctor flinched back into Donna’s arms, thinking Jack was angry with him like Lex was.  Jack saw this, and grabbed his hand.  “Not mad, Doc.  Just need to reorient here,” he looked around.  “Where’s Lex?”

“He left,” Donna said when the Doctor said nothing, merely stared blankly.  “He said something about us enjoying our next visit to Mum and Gramps,” she gripped the Doctor tighter.   “What did he mean?  What happened in here?  Are Mum and Gramps safe?”

“Fuck!” Jack stumbled to his feet.  “Ianto!  Gwen!” he hollered, both of them coming inside the TARDIS.  “We need to get to Chiswick before Lex does,” he turned to the Doctor.   “We need to get there now, we need to take the TARDIS.”

“Will he hurt them?” Donna asked.  “Answer me!”

“I don’t know,” Jack said.  “I don’t want to think so, it’s the Doc he’s really angry with, but you never know.  He did say he tried to hate you as well.”

“Then what are we waiting for?” Donna stood up, and hauled the Doctor to his feet, where he stood, simply staring forward.

“He might be there already,” the Doctor mumbled quietly, though his eyes were disturbingly vacant.  “He got to this universe with a vortex manipulator.  He might have used that to get to Wilf and Sylvia’s.”

“He might have burnt it out crossing the void,” Jack said.  “Don’t quote me or anything, but there was an awful lot of smoke,” he turned to Ianto and Gwen.  “Does the CCTV show anything?”

“Just him leaving and crossing the Plass,” Ianto said.  “Doesn’t mean he didn’t use the manipulator out of the CCTV sight.”

“Then let’s go now!” Donna shrieked.  “Standing here yapping isn’t getting us anywhere.”

           The Doctor didn’t move, he just stood there staring at the grating looking shell shocked.  “OI! Time boy!” Donna yelled.  When there was still no response, she directed him to the pilot seat, sat him down, and grabbed Jack, dragging him to the console.  “Can you fly her?” she asked.

“Not by myself,” Jack said.  “You have any meta-crisis knowledge floating around in there that might help?”

           Donna shook her head, then looked at the time rotor.  “Please help us Old Girl?  Spaceman is having some sort of…thing, Lex is on his way to Mum and Gramps, and we need to get there now.”

           A moment or so later, the scanner lit up, with the location of Wilf and Sylvia’s house on it, along with the current date and time.  A lever on the console had a beam of light shine on it, and Donna moved it.  The beam of light moved to another button, on the side Jack was on, and he pushed it.  In this way, following the beam of light to various buttons, levers and switches, they were able to get the TARDIS in flight mode, and on their way to Chiswick.


           Lex adjusted Susie in his arms as he stood in the train station lobby.  He would have liked to have used his vortex manipulator, but it needed a day or so to recharge, after taking them across the void.  No matter.  He’d take the train, visit his “family”, and by then he hoped the manipulator could get him on his way away from here.  Oh he knew his brother and the rest of them would probably take the TARDIS and get there hours before him, but he didn’t care.  Plus he was rather hoping the sentient timeship would be more on his side, and delay them getting there.  Though trying to kill her Time Lord while inside her probably hadn’t endeared him to her.  Again, no matter, she’d served her purpose.

           He looked up as the train from Cardiff to London was announced, and he pulled out his ticket.  Boarding the train, he settled in a seat in the rear of the train car.  Checking to see Susie was still asleep, he leaned back and waited for the journey to begin.


           Wilf was dozing on the couch, while Sylvia was fixing tea in the kitchen, when a wheezing sound was heard.  Having heard the TARDIS come and go quite often by now, neither one made any move to go to the door.  Sylvia merely added more water to the kettle, and added some more plates to the table, while Wilf got up and ambled into the kitchen.  When Donna came running out of the TARDIS, with three members of Torchwood Three behind her, and no Doctor, and no Belle however, they took notice.  Minutes later, the kitchen was full of voices.  Sylvia talking to Donna, arguing was more like it.  And Jack was issuing instructions to Gwen and Ianto.

“Alright! Alright!” Wilf shouted to be heard over the cacophony of sound.  He turned to Jack.  “Captain Harkness, as a fellow soldier, would you be so kind as to tell me what in the bloomin’ heck is going on?”

           Everyone fell silent, but for Jack who sighed, and told Wilf a condensed, but with a surprising amount of detail, version of the events that had occurred at Torchwood.  Sylvia and Wilf both kept silent for a little while, then Wilf poked at Jack again.  “Where is my boy then?”

“In the TARDIS,” Donna answered instead of Jack.  “He kind of shut down after Lex left, and Jack revived.”

           Wilf nodded.  “Poor boy,” he said.  When no one said anything to that, the elderly gentleman bristled.  “You can’t be blaming him for all of this, can you?”

“Of course not, Wilf!” Jack said.  “But maybe if he had thought about it a little…”

“He did have somewhat of a blind spot when it came to Rose,” Ianto put in.  He and Jack both stepped back at the sudden anger they saw on Wilf’s face. 

“Look at his life, boys,” Wilf said.  “Look at what he’s had to do over the years. Many years, much longer than you or I,” here he paused and glanced at Jack.  “You being the exception of course, but your experience has mainly been here on Earth,” his finger came up and pointed at Jack’s face when the Immortal opened his mouth.  “You just hush now, lad.  I’ve been told what you’ve done, what’s happened to you, she’s filled me in,” he waved in Donna’s direction.  “Not saying it’s any better than what the Doctor’s been through or worse.  Still different to what the Doctor’s done both before this Time War and what he’s had to do since.   These Time Lord fellows weren’t the greatest folk around so he said, when we were up on that ship with the cactus people.”

“Vinvocci,” Jack supplied.  

“Yes, them.  We got to talk quite a bit up there.  He told me plenty of things from his life, including the family he had on Gallifrey, his wife, kids and grandkids.  Lost ‘em all you know.  In the Time War.  Imagine that if you can.  Losing everything like that.  Family, friends, acquaintances, your whole species and planet for crying out loud.  Then imagine you lost it by your own hand.  To save all of creation.  You’re alone.  Entirely alone.  It’d be enough to break the strongest of men.  It almost broke him.  He was on his way to ending his existence.  Then he met someone.  This someone cared about him.  The first living being to do so after this horrific war, and the horrific actions he had to take to end it.  And maybe Rose was a bad choice for that position.  Well, from recent events, it’s clear she was a bad choice.  But she was there at the time.  He wasn’t alone anymore.  And he latched onto that.  For a while, she became his reason to go on.  To keep living.

She made mistakes.  Bad choices.  And perhaps what happened on that Game Station, or even the day she brought the Reapers when she tried to save her father should have been what made him let her go.  Take her home.  But then he’d be alone again.  And maybe the way he felt when he’s alone like that, was scarier than keeping Rose with him.   So he did.  Until she was lost to the parallel world.  And that my friends, is where his responsibility large or small for her and her actions ends.  He said himself that the walls between universes couldn’t be breached without destroying the multiverse when he sent that goodbye message.  She chose not to listen.  He couldn’t control her actions in another universe.  I’m not sure all what Rose did, but I know it was bad, and now I know what she did to Lex when they were left in that other universe.  I’m not going to say the Doctor is entirely blameless, he shouldn’t have left his brother with her.  I’m also not going to sit here and lay blame on him, because he’s got enough of that going on by himself.  He made a mistake.  And yes, I’ll agree he’s probably made a lot of mistakes.  But he’s 900 plus years old.  And for a while now, it seems though he’s carried the safety of the universe on his shoulders.  Mistakes are bound to be made.  While I was in that glass box, thinking he was going to sacrifice himself for me, he said something, not sure if it was to me or not, but that’s not the point.  He said the perhaps he’s lived too long.  Now, I’m not an expert in psychology or anything, but that said something to me.  That scared me.  I’m not ready for him to go yet.  And I don’t think you folk are either.  I’m pretty sure he’s not really ready to go himself. 

You don’t think he’s in his TARDIS just feeling sorry for himself, or just a little doolally, do you?  From what you told me, the man just had everything Rose did foisted into his mind from other perspectives.  He wasn’t just told, he saw it, he felt it, and that’s on top of all the other things he’s seen, done, and felt.  Then his brother tried to kill him, only to kill Jack instead.  If that had happened to you, you’d go a bit doolally yourself.  I’m not surprised he’s having a bit of a breakdown,” Wilf moved towards the door.   “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go out to that police box, and go see to my boy.  I’ll thank you lot to stay here.”


( 6 Thoughts — Thoughts )
Aug. 27th, 2013 05:29 am (UTC)
*hugs* My heart goes out to you, love. I'm hoping that my birthday present for BMG will cheer you a bit.

Wow, Wilf put it best on why the Doctor couldn't let go of the Pink and Yellow life preserver. Bravo for being able to put this together. You've made me love Wilf all the more.

I hope that a little writing will help the Muse light on this series again. Because I know I'm not the only one who's interested in knowing what Wilf will say to the Doctor.
Aug. 27th, 2013 06:04 am (UTC)
*hugs back* It's getting better. Ooo a birthday present for BMG? I shall check that out.

Wilf is awesome. He has such a capacity to see the good in a person/being and want the best for everyone. He could probably make you like the Master if he wanted to. =P I'm not sure what he would say to the Doctor, but perhaps I'll try to figure that out. There would be hugging though. I know that much.

I'm glad you liked it. Thank you for the comments.

~Ali ♥
Aug. 27th, 2013 03:28 pm (UTC)
Many, Many hugs to you! Remember you have loads of friends here and feel free to PM if you need to.

Whoa! Way to go Wilf. I can see this scene clearly in my mind. The strong, wise voice of reason. I love him calling the Doctor "my boy". He has so much affection for the silly alien. And I think, at this point, he would be the only one that could get through to the Doctor. After all, he said he would have been proud if Wilf were his dad.

I too hope your Muse will find her way back to this series. I hate to see Lex that way without any sign of redemption/reconciliation. I know that there is nothing he can say to destroy the connections between Donna, the Doctor and her family, but it hurts to see such pain. And what will he be teaching Susie as she grows up? That kind of anger is corrosive. And children learn from example.

Be well, my friend. And hugs to Cheeky!
Aug. 27th, 2013 07:06 pm (UTC)
*hugs back* Thank you.

At this point I think Wilf is the Doctor's best hope. They adore each other I think.

I'm not sure if the muse can or will return for this. I can say I'll give it an effort as I don't want to leave Lex in the state he's in. Lex is angry beyond all reason right now. Though if anything I'll be getting the Doctor's and Wilf's conversation written.

I'll pass on your hugs to Cheeky. She's a big hugger.

Glad you liked it, and thank you for the comments.

~Ali ♥
Aug. 27th, 2013 04:46 pm (UTC)
Aw, you are always welcome, love. *hugs*

My this was a powerful piece! I don't know who to feel sorry for first. Thank goodness for Wilf being the voice of sanity and acceptance. This did seem exactly like the sort of thing he'd say. And I'm sure Wilf would equally help Lex too when he shows up.

Hopefully our comments will kickstart your muse into letting you write some more of this or anything else. Good luck, love!
Aug. 27th, 2013 07:08 pm (UTC)
*more hugs* :)

Wilf would probably be the one to help Lex. Right now they're all a little messed up.

The comments did give me a couple ideas, but nothing concrete as of yet. Mostly just Wilf and the Doctor talking.

Glad you liked it. Thank you for the comments.

~Ali ♥
( 6 Thoughts — Thoughts )